Credits
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Went to school today feeling very sick and stress lol...im literally and physically sick. Recently i keep getting headaches and 'black outs'. Keep on stoning for nothing and what worst is that i feel like i can faint any moment. Like what happened last friday when i was on the MRT train.
I know some people might not like it bah i still want to say, i really need JESUS in my life...if not my life would be destroyed. Im so sick and tired of being afraid that others might get unhappy if i mention things about Jesus. If not happy then just stay away from me then, sorry if i dont sound nice, my emotions are not very stable now.
Without being right with God, my everything seems wrong. Whatever i do is disaster, my life starts changing, i become more and more worldy, not Christian like. Instead of being different, i behave just like any other teenages or even worst. MY LIFE IS IN A MESS NOW! I NEED JESUS! ='(
I want someone to listen to me, i want to just explode myself to someone. I really want someone to just be here for me when i need him/her, dont have to be 100% around, but atleast listen to my craps for awhile. But right now i cant do it, i've lost my freedom of speech. So many so many things i cant say, im afraid to say. I dont wanna make people unhappy. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I regretted telling that lie, i really did...i shouldnt have turned from God, i shouldnt have choose this path. I should have continue praying for steph to get saved instead of ignoring the fact that shes a non-christian. But she is a very very very good girl and i Love her extremely much. To me, her behaviour and attitude might even be better than other christians. And i dont mind just being together with her my entire life, i seriously dont feel that shes affecting my walk with God. Only thing is that i cant get very very spiritual because she would give me that look and then she will start feeling uneasy inside. Maybe thats a kind of hinder? I dunno lar...im so so palia fed up now.
I know if steph is reading this post, she would most probably be crying again and hurting inside. I dare block this because not many people have access to my blog. I just wanna tell you that i love you very very much and im just venting
29o1o7 <3. I really love you alot alot thats why we are still together
8:04 PM